and yet still...

I'd like to start off with a confession. Today I've come to realize that at many points in my life I don't believe that God loves me. I KNOW it, but I don't KNOW it. How can it be? Does anyone struggle here with me? How can I understand his grace, have knowledge of him and the word, even believe that he loves other people so deeply, yet when it comes to believing his heart for me, I have trouble. Forgive my unbelief, Lord.

Today, I broke. I was listening to a message on the iPod, troubled by my lack of emotion, lack of desire and passion for Him, and yet out of nowhere (or shall I say seemingly somewhere), the message was over, and I sat there, with silent earbuds still placed in my ears, hearing only the birds singing outside. The message was still echoing in my mind and suddenly, arose a spirit of indignance that looked like this: "Oh HELL no...those birds are not going to outpraise me...uhh, no way are the angels and heavenly beings going to sing louder than me today...I am the one who's been redeemed!" And so it began. Worship...that somehow brought me out of my funk and into his marvelous light, out of darkness, out of shame...my dead heart now is beating, now I'm free, now I'm free...

And why do I tell you this? I have no idea...but if this sounds like any part of you, ask him to stir you up...revive the fire. Only he can. Freedom awaits you. So does his mighty love.

And take a moment to linger on Donnie's questions below. We'll discuss whatever you want on Sunday. Read Galatians 3 if you haven't...heck, read the whole book. Its about freedom, and what could be better than that??